Lately I’ve been thinking about the future. I know I shouldn’t do this too much. I’ve been told, and firmly believe, you should not concentrate on anything more than 3 years out with our kids. Anything more than that will just cause additional and perhaps needless worry. However, some things I have read and heard recently have gotten me thinking.
When Peanut was born my first thoughts were about how intellectually disabled she would be. I thought perhaps she would always be a “child” and never live on her own. We quickly learned this may not be the case. Many adults with Down syndrome get married, move out and even have jobs. I grabbed on to these promises and held tight. I was a little saddened because I had already decided it would be nice to have my “child” with me forever. Which of us don’t get a little sad when our children continually grow and mature? But, I was happy to know she had a bright future like her sisters.
In our day to day lives, I sometimes get so caught up on what is happening now, that I forget that my little girl is different. That she is (most likely) intellectually disabled, although she has never been given an IQ test. That although I learn so much from her and her innocent love and acceptance of others, she also has difficulty understanding certain concepts.
For instance, paper money can be a difficult concept for people with Down syndrome to understand. It all looks the same to them and a dollar bill seems to have the same value as a $20. This means my daughter has a greater chance of being taken advantage of as an adult. Although many people would help an intellectually disabled person, there are many more who would take advantage of this situation.
It is one more reminder to me that Peanut IS different from her sisters. Even though I hope she will one day live on her own, what does that really mean? Most likely she won’t be renting her own apartment without some level of assistance. If she goes to college, will she go to MU like her sisters (if my husband gets his way)? Probably not.
As I strive to give my daughter all the help I can get her so she can have the life SHE wants, I sometimes have to stop and take a reality check. I have to remember she will have challenges. One day she will not be the cute little girl that some may not even realize has Down syndrome and people may stop and stare or shy away from her. Will she notice, and if so, will she care?
The future is a mystery and at times, a little scary.