Have you ever heard someone say, “the blind boy” or “the deaf person” or “the Down syndrome child”? You may have said it yourself and may not have even noticed it. I know I never considered how I described someone before my daughter was born. One of the first things explained to us when our daughter was born is that she is a child first. No one wants to be identified by their differences. I didn’t like being called the skinny kid. You certainly wouldn’t call someone the fat kid. So the next time you are talking about someone with a disability, any disability, try to remember they are a person first. Instead say, “the boy who is blind” or “the person who is deaf” or “the child with Down syndrome”. I know this may sound like nit picking and I get as tired as the next person with all the politically correct terminology out there these days. But this one is important. We need to remember that we are all people with feelings and needs and something to contribute in life. The fact that we are white, blond, blue eyed, tall, short, or disabled should really just be an afterthought.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
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13 comments:
Very true. When my second daughter was born (she was diagnosed prenatally) there were a TON of doctors in the room to see her. I literally had to hold off pushing because one doctor was missing. When she was born, they showed her to me for a second and then quickly started checking her over. They all kept saying "is this the trisomy 17?". I remember lying there wanting to scream, NO this is MY DAUGHTER! Actually I really SHOULD have done that. They were SO impersonal. She was just a specimen to them.
Irene - Doctors are the worst! How can someone who has a job of saving peoples lives and helping the sick be some of the most insensitive clods? Your daughter is beautiful!
speaking of doctors-when I had my third baby 7 months ago, my obgyn's were arguing(friendly) about who delivered my last baby(RYLIE). The one doctor said,it was me, I remember delivering the Down's baby!-Right in front of me!
You can excuse some people, but doctors should no better.
Funny you should write about this; I just blogged about it this past Sunday. Still trying to figure out how to best articulate what I think about the issue. Appreciate your thoughts.
Irene & Rylie's mum - how awful!
I do feel differently about terminology now, maybe because of the blogs I read. I'm not sure. Very early days.
We are not far enough down the road here in the UK. Nearly everyone I have spoken to says "Downs baby" or "they are"...including health professionals, social workers and counsellors. Very difficult.
I know what you're saying! We've learned to say our boy HAS downs, and encourage others to say the same.
I've had similar experience with our doctors. Happy has a rare heart defect and his pediatrician has called him the "hypoplastic right kid". Lovely.
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I agree. And thanks for reminding of this.
Great point. A lesson drilled in to us as kids and whose reminder will never get old.
While I am sure everywhere to some degree, in the south where I grew up, it was common to hear someone tell a story about a "black guy" instead of a "guy" (when race had nothing to do with the story). To this day I still cringe when I hear people typecast that way and have to stay vigilant of the social lessons my daughter learns at school....
Beautifully said. I am often teaching my nursing students about speaking this way and treating their patient's with respect. Here is a great link page regarding it: http://disabilityisnatural.com/peoplefirstlanguage.htm They even have flyers that are great for emailing out.
Great reminder. Now could you figure out a way to get this simple concept taught in every single school (including medical schools) nationwide? Thanks!
Deb,
Sorry I don't get here more often. I love your blog. You are always teaching me something. Thanks.
KR
Well said.
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