Recently Deb at Mom of 3 Girls and Maria at Mommy of Four recently did posts about how quickly their children are growing up. It got me thinking. I want a time machine.
Not to go back and fix mistakes I have made in the past. Even my most horrendous mistakes (and believe me I’ve got some doosies) have made me into the person I am today. I have learned from them. I have grown from them and even as much as I regret them, I am determined to see that my mistakes will someday help someone else, hopefully my child, to not make the same mistake. If they do make the same mistake, I hope my knowledge will help them work through it. We cannot learn to walk without falling down a few times.
Not to rethink my decision of whether to have a third child with the knowledge she would have Down syndrome. She is part of our family just the way she is. She is a blessing and a joy. She has brought our family together in ways a typically developing child cannot. She has introduced us to a world that although I knew existed, was afraid to be a part of. No, I would not change a thing about her.
I want a time machine so I can go back and hold my babies just one more time. So I can visit them at different ages and smell their hair. To hear their sweet laugh and hold them when they cry.
We spend our life helping our children take their next step: hold her own bottle; crawl; walk; tie her shoes … But, somewhere in all the helping, they grow up on us. They are no longer the tiny little baby that was placed in our arms in the hospital or the giggling little toddler. They are no longer entering their first day of kindergarten with an eager face. All of the sudden they are learning to drive a car, going on their first date and graduating from high school. You are taking them to college and helping them move into their own apartment.
I love my children at this moment and enjoy who they are. I look forward to watching them grow and become independent women with their own lives and families. But I still want that time machine. I want to go back to times in their lives that pictures just don’t fulfill.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Time Machine
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16 comments:
It's hard to see them grow up so quickly - I agree.
And to answer your question, it is fine to link to the CHD information! :)
Hi Deb - I know what you mean. When mine were babies, I kept wishing they would grow out of the waking up during the night stage.
But they grow up so fast, then you begin to wish you could turn back the clock.
Oh, how I wish I had a time machine! But like you said ,you learn from mistakes! I wish I wouldn't have acted so negative when Rylie was born. I have learned to slow down w/ my kids. They do grow up so fast. I can't believe I have a nine year old. She loves spending time with me, she always wants to do things together, and I love it, because before I know it she will be a teenager and I will not be so cool. LOL!
Oh I know. We are so excited for the milestones, then we get so sad and want to turn back time.
This weekend I got a wave of sadness when I realized that none of my kids fit into the up to 2T sizes any more. They are all toddler and up! And you know that is going to change before I know it! I really was bummed. I stood and looked at the infant clothes for a while and thought...mmmm..maybe more?
I soo want a time machine to relive my childhood and life before OCD
You perfectly put into words what I was thinking all weekend when I tried to think of an answer for a question on my blog. There isn't a single decision that I've made that I would want to change. Sure, I would love to go back and know that I should think a little harder before doing something, but I would not "redo" anything. But to go back and hold a newborn Alexis for a few more minutes . . . that would be fabulous.
I'm lucky to have four kids at different stages. The nine year old is growing up and the baby will turn one at the end of the week. I am trying my best to savor the middle of the night cuddles and help the big kids with math homework. Take time to sit and watch the kids and take lots of pictures!
Ok, so it looks like we're all in agreement. So who's gonna build it? I was never very good in science or math. And Irene, I'm not going so far as to have another one! They sure are cute, though!
What a cool wish! I think I'd have to take a page from your book and go relive some of the best days all over again.
It is really bittersweet. I honestly enjoy watching them grow and do new things, but I hate to think we can never go back. Those times are gone forever. It makes me want to have more kids. Maybe I'll get my fill of it eventually.
I so want a time machine! I try to remember back to when Abby was that tiny little baby (ok, well so at over 9 pounds maybe not quite 'tiny'), but all I see is the beautiful girl that she's become... Wonderful post and thanks for linking to mine! :)
Deb Mom of 3 girls -
Happy to provide the link.
Maria -
Again, nope, don't want anymore. However, come to my house any weekday and you will certainly get your baby fix. :)
I look at baby pictures of my kids and close my eyes and just TRY to imagine what it felt like to hold them when they were little. Just one day. Oh, I would sit and hold them and not worry about anything else.
Beautiful post!
Nicely written Deb. I so try to live in the now. It's amazing to be wishing for time to stand still while at the very same moment hoping your little one successfully reaches that next milestone. Reading your entry is that reminder I need to cherish the moment especially after a long day at work.
Wyomingmom -
I learned a long time ago to try to stop rushing things and appreciate what I have now, but I still find myself failing from time to time and wondering where the time went.
Thanks for visiting.
Wow. You nailed it. In my case, there are a few things I would do very differently, but that's coming from the perspective of someone who could almost be your mother. Things look way different from the other side of hill number 50. ;o)
Oh, yes, to be able to go back and spend just a little more time...
back to the day when Bug begged for a ride on the horse outside the grocery store and take the 5 minutes it would have taken to put a smile on that face instead of rushing because I needed to get home to do what? I can't remember that. But I remember the tears and sadness on his face as we drove by the mechanical horse on the way out of the parking lot;
to be allowed to revisit the day my mother was diagnosed with cancer so that I could be there with her at the doctor instead of her being given that horrible news alone;
to be able to hug my dad just once more and tell him that I've finally forgiven him for all his mistakes;
to be smarter and not go back to work when my kids were "old enough to stay home alone" and not miss so much of their lives chasing the almighty dollar because I thought THAT would be better for their future;
to be able to spend one more night rocking them to sleep, reading bedtime stories, kissing boo boos, and even wiping snotty noses.
Oh, yes, young moms, if you don't already, you will one day wish for a time machine to do much more than you ever imagined you could have missed along the way.
Sorry about hijacking your comments, Deb. You just really touched a tender spot in my heart. Hopefully your post here will save the younger mothers some of the heart aches that a lot of us older moms have to just learn to live with.
xoxo
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