Frienships - Part 4

How do some friendships survive while other's fail? What makes one person loyal when others yield to peer pressure and follow the fold? My much needed circle of friends was quickly collapsing my sophomore year of college. The final straw was the dress I agreed to make for Calculus girl. After consulting with my mom about the complexity of the dress and shortage of time I had to make it, I approached my friend. The pattern consisted not only of the dress but a petticoat as well. I had agreed to make a dress for $50 without knowing the pattern she would choose. I informed Calculus girl that I would make the dress for $50 but would not have the petticoat ready in time and that would be extra. She countered that she would give me $25 for the dress and $25 for the petticoat. I declined. In the end, she gave me nothing, but I kept the dress. At the time I considered myself the loser in this transaction. In my opinion, it was a very ugly dress and I had no use for it. On top of that, I lost her friendship along with her roommate's and my ex-roommate's. Calculus girl had also insisted that RJ no longer speak to me, but thankfully she refused to listen.

It's hard to know what type of person you are dealing with in the beginning of a friendship. Everyone puts their best foot forward. However, as our typically developing children get to know their friends, they can come home and report to us friends' likes and dislikes; things they have in common; and general information about the other person. Children with Down syndrome may not always be able to extract this information as easily from others or relate it to you.

One way to help your child get to know his classmates is to give him an interview book. Sit down with your child and come up with a list of questions to ask each classmate. Also provide your child a camera to take a picture of each classmate. The picture can be placed on that person's interview page. Not only will this assist you in learning about all your child's classmates, it will give your child a visual guide to rely on. Each day or week your child can interview a different classmate. Work with his teacher as to the best time to do this. Perhaps they can have 15 minutes to step out of the classroom for the interview. Kids love to be the center of attention and will look forward to their day to be interviewed. This interview book will also help you in choosing play dates, birthday guests, etc. Your child will be able to refer to this book throughout the year and keep track of his friends and classmates.

This is a five part series on helping your child with Down syndrome develop friendships. If you missed the first two installments of this series, please visit here, here and here to catch up.

I am the Featured Blogger on Special Needs Parent today. Please drop by and read my interview!