It Is Not Okay

A couple years ago I went to a friend's house for a social gathering. They had invited another friend I had never met before. This person had a strong personality and I instantly developed a dislike for her. She was constantly interfering with my discipline of Diva and undermining my authority. Because I was an invited guest, I held my tongue. Although this was a frustrating situation, no real harm was done. Diva was two or three at the time, but she knew she couldn't get away with those antics in the future.

This same situation, when applied to Peanut could have been much more detrimental. Consistency for a child with Down syndrome is even more important than a typically developing child. Once a bad habit is learned it can take 10 times as much work to unlearn and in some cases it may be permanent. According to Babies with Down Syndrome; A New Parents’ Guide (2nd edition), edited by Karen Stray-Gundersen (Woodbine House 1995), "Firmness and consistency work best; don't take the easy way out for reasons of convenience, embarrassment, or frustration."

As a parent of a child with Down syndrome every simple act in life needs to be addressed. The other day when Peanut thought it would be a good idea to take her shirt of in the restaurant, our first reaction was to laugh. Who wouldn't? However, I had to immediately take action, get her sisters to stop laughing and be firm with her. There was really no harm in her taking her shirt off at that moment, but add 10 years and not only is it no longer cute, it's dangerous.

When others interfere with my discipline it is confusing to Peanut. I realize she may not hurt you if she hits you (although she is very strong and it is possible) but I have to think of the future. I want her to be accepted in society and I want her to act appropriately. It is NOT okay for her to misbehave. Ever. Yes, there are times when she has gotten away with something, but for the most part I am constantly correcting any misbehavior.

Do not make excuses for my child because she has Down syndrome. She is a person first and perfectly capable of acting properly. She has the ability to understand right from wrong. Like any child, she will test the limits. She is resourceful and will find ways around those limits. It may take her longer to process disciplinary limits, but she will learn them. I expect no less of her than I do of my other children.