We all have our ideas of what type of involvement we should have in our children's lives. Some of us home school. Some of us get messy with crafts and creations. Some coach and volunteer and have hordes of kids over to our house for play dates. But if you choose a different route of parenting that doesn't make you a horrible parent. We should be free to parent our children as we see fit without judgement.
I am not many of the above. When my children reached the age of 3, I happily took them to preschool where they could make their crafty messes and I could get a break from them. I don't have patience to teach my children. I tried the teacher thing at church and was miserable. I am not a teacher.
When we choose to be parents, we don't really know what we are getting into. I thought I would love cooking with my kids but, I don't. I wanted to be a teacher and realize now it's not for me. I enjoy having some me time and don't want my children sleeping in the same bed as me. This doesn't make me a bad parent. My children still love me. They are happy, well adjusted individuals. Spoiled at times, but also expected to act properly in public.
With school starting and we prepare to send our children back to school (or to school for the first time) some parents out there may consider our decision wrong. That because we were blessed with children, we should keep them home as long as we can. However, I see school as a partnership. The teachers help me grow as a parent, nudging me out of my parenting shell and encouraging me to try new things. My children have friends at school and routine. I love my children dearly, but I enjoy the time away from them to create in my own way, or just relax. It gives me a chance to regroup and face another day with the enthusiasm I never want to lose of being a mother to three beautiful little brides.
No one has the right to judge us or make us feel guilty for how we parent our children.
11 comments:
Absolutely! Parenting is a gift; but, also the hardest job in the world. And, we each have our own talents and system that works for us.
I can teach CCD in a heart beat and love it. I can assist the children at school and my friends children with unending patience.
But, trying to teach my own children? We just don't work well that way. Even they prefer that I be their Mom, and let the "teacher" be the teacher, LOL!
I also don't have the patience!
I agree. I could have wrote this post word for word.
I am SO happy I decided not to homeschool my children this school year. While I still have no doubt that I could do it and do it well, this summer (a very challenging one at that) has taught me that we need some distance from each other.
I am quiet and content to be by myself, while they are LOUD and in constant motion. It is such a drain on my energy and patience.
i couldn't have said it better......i totally agree with you!
Spoken like a true champion. I know we have heeded words with others about how we raise out children and I must admit I cringe at how many others raise theirs.
Only time will tell if we did it wrong...
Love LOVE love this post... you are spot on with it. I resemble much of what you say... and you are so right... how dare others judge our way of parenting. We all are unique, so why should we all parent the same way? Great Job... Oh... did I say I love this post? lol
AMEN! I love my boys to death, but I rejoice greatly in our time apart. I think I enjoy them more when we come back together after time apart. Sometimes I feel a little guilty about that, especially since so many of my friends are the opposite. But I try to remind myself that if we were together all the time we'd drive each other bananas.
Love this post! Right there with you.
Also, I have to admit that often I suck at carry over. Kayla works so hard at school, I just can't see subjecting her to MORE work. So I just let her do her own thing when she's home, even if that means stimming on her musical flashing toys for a couple hours.
I've been reading a lot of memoirs lately, and I have to say, reading about all these dysfunctional families makes me not be so hard on myself as a Mommy!
So true, every family has to figure out what works best for them.
Absolutely. This post is so well-written. It's something that a lot of Yodeling Mamas echo as working moms who are not able to stay at home with their kids that much. No one should have to feel guilty about the decisions they make as a parent and other parents shouldn't judge. Everybody's family situation is different, and I think it's about the bond you share with your child/children, not exactly about how much time you spend with them or the exact role you have in their lives (teacher, etc) that is important. I think it's about the bond and the love you have for them above all else, so how can anyone else judge that!?
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