Yesterday was crazy busy. I spent three hours running errands starting at 8:00 a.m. After I got Peanut to school, I fixed the toilet and was so excited that it went so easy. It never does. I should have known. When I took off to get Diva from school, I grabbed the door knob to the front door and it came off in my hand. Tonight I get to replace that! I was up till midnight working on something from work because I couldn't get to it till 8:00 p.m. I won't bore you with the rest of the details of my busy day, you have your own craziness to deal with!
As a result, however, I did not get a post written. Instead of throwing something mediocre together, I thought I'd revisit one of my early posts on mothering a child with Down syndrome (or any special need.)
That Which Does Not Kill Us
I often hear from friends and family they are impressed at how I have embraced my daughter’s Down syndrome. They tell me they don’t think they could have handled it. The truth is, neither did I before she was born.
I have always respected my mother. She is a nurse and for the last 10 years of her career she worked at a nursing home. I’m somewhat embarrassed to admit that I hated going to visit her at the nursing home. All those old people made me uncomfortable, and frankly, I didn’t know how to talk or relate to them. My mother was amazing with them; always treating them as people, not burdens. In my previous “life” as a performance auditor I once had to audit the Mental Health and Retardation Department for the state I was then living in. My fellow auditor and I visited several group homes that housed people with various intellectual and physical delays. Although I found it difficult dealing with these people, my co-worker stated she hated being there and around all those people. She would shy away from them if they came up to talk to us, which they did often.
How interesting that just a couple years later my husband and I were blessed with our daughter. We did not know we were having a child with Down syndrome. We refused the blood test that would possibly indicate it. It wasn’t until the day after her birth that we were informed she most likely had Down syndrome. Obviously, we were in shock. We were scared. But very quickly we realized it could be much worse. The birth of our daughter has presented us with challenges that many of our friends have not had to face. I know we have many more challenges ahead of us; however, I would not trade her for the world. She has made me a stronger person. She has strengthened my marriage. She has given me a cause in life when I was struggling to find one. She has given my older children opportunities that they would not have had otherwise. Yes, there are moments of heartache. About a year ago we visited some friends and I was watching all their children run and play at an age appropriate level. My Peanut was not playing on that level and it hurt. It scares me to think of the prejudices she will face in life.
I now flock to people with disabilities, where before my daughter I might have shied away. I have to be careful with this because not all people want all that attention. I am no longer uncomfortable around people with disabilities or the elderly. I can thank my daughter for all of this.
God only gives us the crosses we can bear. Trust in Him and trust in yourself. How many times in history have we seen ordinary people do extraordinary things when faced with a difficult situation? We can all do it. We just have to have faith and an open mind. To all of my friends and family that have commented to me in the past they don’t think they could do it, I’m here to tell you not only that you can, but that you can do it with a grace and patience that will often surprise you.
That which does not kill us DOES make us stronger!
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