Next year Peanut enters Kindergarten. Up until this point she has always received her education in an environment specifically designed for early intervention. Although her current teacher runs her preschool classroom as she would if she did not have children with special needs and has high expectations of all children regardless of their ability, she is in this position because she chose to work with children with special needs. This is not always the case when you get into elementary and secondary school.
Saturday I attended a seminar by Michael Remus about classroom inclusion. Mr. Remus is changing classroom inclusion for all children one district at a time. His vision for the future is impressive and his efforts have been proven effective.
Mr. Remus had several points that were very enlightening. I hope they will help me be patient with school personnel and to work together with them to ensure Peanut has the best possible school career.
Did you know that IDEA was only enacted in 1997? That’s only 12 years ago. When you think of it that way, it’s easier to understand how many school administrators still have a different view of what works best for children with special needs. We have come a long way, but we still have a very long way to go.
Sometimes we have to stop and put ourselves in someone else’s shoes. Once your child gets into the school system, you have had several years of advocating for him* and loving him. You see on a day to day basis all of his gifts even in his most difficult times. But take a moment and be honest with yourself. Did you always feel this way? Did you always champion for those with special needs? Were you always comfortable around people who had disabilities?
Maybe you did, and if so I applaud you. But I know, for myself, that was not always the case. I’m not saying I thought any less of people with special needs or felt they didn’t have a right to an education or a place in society, I just wasn’t comfortable around them. When I opened my daycare, I chose not to take children with special needs because I didn’t think I had what it took to care for them. I was uncomfortable.
If I myself had doubts and fears about being around individuals with special needs, why should I now expect everyone I meet to embrace my child with no reservations? Why, just because a person chooses to be a teacher, should I expect him to be comfortable with all children? We are, after all, human first. Life is a learning experience. We, as parents to these wonderful children, learned very quickly. We had no choice. We must, however, be patient with others. Let them express their fears without judgment from us. Work with them to educate them on what fears are founded and what are unfounded.
The moment we start an “us against them” attitude, our child has lost. We lose sight of what is best for our child in an effort to get what we want for us. Sometimes we have to swallow our pride and find ways to work with the school, when we really don’t want to. We have to be polite when we really want to rip their heads off. That’s not to say you should just lay down and take it. We are our children’s best advocate. Just make sure your child stays in the forefront of the fight so everyone remembers who they are fighting for.
All that being said, I think I’m gonna move to Deer Valley. Not only does it have Mr. Remus, but it’s Arizona and right now, with below freezing temperatures it’s sounding pretty good. (Ok, just kidding.)
*Please note I used him, his, etc. in the generic to include both men and women.
6 comments:
Another really inspiring guy on inclusion in Patrick Schwarz - http://www.patrickschwarz.com/. He is awesome!
I like your outlook - it's good to give the other team members understanding and respect all the while that you continue standing up for what your child needs. A difficult balance, but it can be done.
I'm so glad to see you posting again!!! And as usual, you're right on, and stating it well, of course!
I agree with you to a certain extent. However, I disagree also. Having Carly in the public school system for her second year has proven to be VERY difficult. This year, the teacher wanted no part of Carly in her classroom. She wanted her to be placed on a 1/2 day schedule. Which we agreed to try for one month. She also wanted her put in the resource room for a majority of the day. She has flat out told me that she has no time to work with Carly one on one. Ever. She is too busy with everyone else.
It take a very good/special teacher to figure out the impact they can have on our children.
Only after I flipped my lid on this teacher, did things start to turn around. She is working more with Carly. Carly is in school all day. Carly is NOT pushed off to the resource room for more than 1/2 hr each day.
My take is this. You can bow down and kiss the schools feet only so many times. BAM. You then hit your breaking point. I pray you never get pushed into a corner like I have. I pray you never have to flip your lid toward the school. It's not fun. It's not easy.
From what I have been told by many advocates that I am working with, who have years of experience with this kind of situation. There are more situations that occur such as ours, than not. I have been told that for a bit, things will go okay with the school. But, more often than not, there will be HUGE issues. The schools are stubborn. The teachers are not all so caring.
I think what finally turned Carly's teacher around in her thinking was when I put it to her this way. "Put yourself in my shoes. What if Carly were your child"? I ended with this, "It is not Carly's fault she was born with Down syndrome. It's not my fault either. However, she has every right to be in your classroom learning right alongside her peers". I then reminded the teacher, "it's the law"!
Things, for now are going somewhat better. We are still working on our IEP that started out on Nov 2. We are all trying to iron it all out. Come up with the best plan for Carly and the team involved. In order to do this, the school needs to work with us just as much as we need to work with them. Sadly, it doesn't always work out quite that way.
Good luck to you.
ABC Mom,
I agree, there may come a time when you have a fight and it may come to blows. I anticipate I will have my fights along the way as well. In fact, according to another mom in my district, our district believes all children with Ds belong in Life Skills and you either need to accept it or be ready for a fight. I'm ready for a fight. However, my point is, whenever possible, instead of going in guns blazing to try to word things to not automatically put others on the defensive. Schools are stubborn. They've been doing things the same way for years and we are the first generation trying to change that. We have our work cut out for us.
I know you had issues and I don't think you were out of line in what you said. There was much more to this seminar than just "playing nice" and lots of good tips on how to work together. If you ever have the opportunity to see Michael Remus, you should really go. Mr. Remus is not only an educator, but a parent of children with special needs. He used to live in Kansas and had one of the biggest due process cases in the state. He has been there.
I'm glad things are going better right now. I think of you often and the fights you've had so far. I hope it will get better for you. I also hope to have some other posts from this seminar in the future. I just wanted to start here.
hi debbie!
i love this post. i can see your evolving thought process through your post and i can appreciate and respect it. i have mixed feelings...i think that special needs students have every right to be in the classroom with typically developing children...but it is also a struggle. captain adventure is in kindergarten this year and he has a boy who has very serious emotional and behavioral needs. this boy has his own aide in the classroom, but continues to disrupt the learning of the rest of the class on a very regular basis. he is on a behavior action plan and has daily goals to meet with negative consequences if he doesn't and rewards if he does.
i can see both sides. i would want my special needs child to be included in the classroom. i would not want my child to be looked at as the burden or the problem child of the classroom.
however, i would also want the school to have appropriate resources to ensure my child was getting his needs met AND that the rest of the kids in the classroom were not being slighted.
i greatly appreciate your post!
kate n.
katenowakistan@gmail.com
Hi Kate,
You raise some valid concerns and I plan on addressing them, but would like to in another post. I also need to do a little research so I can address them fairly. I hope you'll stay tuned.
P.S. Good to hear from you. Hope all is well in your neck of the woods.
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